1
00:00:00,889 --> 00:00:08,319
Mary, can you get that monitor turned
around for me? I don't want it facing

2
00:00:08,320 --> 00:00:09,370
Down there.

3
00:00:10,860 --> 00:00:15,740
VTR Thames 5395, part one, take one.

4
00:01:16,979 --> 00:01:18,720
Right then, off on the road, Sid?

5
00:01:18,960 --> 00:01:20,300
No, it's time to go home.

6
00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:21,970
Oh, blimey.

7
00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:23,130
It's Saturday.

8
00:01:23,620 --> 00:01:25,730
Betty and me always have a row on
Saturday.

9
00:01:25,900 --> 00:01:27,280
Yeah, and we always hear you.

10
00:01:27,281 --> 00:01:31,719
Yeah, well, it isn't exactly all peace
and roses around your house, is it, with

11
00:01:31,720 --> 00:01:32,770
your flipping kids?

12
00:01:32,771 --> 00:01:35,539
Well, what's the matter with having
kids? It's normal.

13
00:01:35,540 --> 00:01:37,710
Mind you, it might help if I had normal
kids.

14
00:01:37,711 --> 00:01:40,619
I don't know how you put up with it,
Sid.

15
00:01:40,620 --> 00:01:41,670
All them problems.

16
00:01:41,780 --> 00:01:42,830
What problems?

17
00:01:42,831 --> 00:01:45,099
Well, Sally, for a start -off, isn't
there?

18
00:01:45,100 --> 00:01:47,240
I mean, she's at that dangerous age.

19
00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:48,650
Fellas and all that.

20
00:01:48,860 --> 00:01:49,910
Oh, no.

21
00:01:50,060 --> 00:01:52,460
No, mate, she takes after her mother. I
dig it.

22
00:01:53,300 --> 00:01:55,340
Kids are different, aren't they, today?

23
00:01:55,520 --> 00:02:02,439
I mean, I read in the newspaper, Sid,
that over 60 % of them have sex before

24
00:02:02,440 --> 00:02:03,419
they're 15.

25
00:02:03,420 --> 00:02:04,800
And that includes your kids.

26
00:02:06,800 --> 00:02:09,639
No, no, no, no, no. It might include
Mike.

27
00:02:09,860 --> 00:02:13,110
I mean, he's been at it ever since he'd
come off the naughty books.

28
00:02:15,019 --> 00:02:16,600
No, not my Sally, no.

29
00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:18,860
Well, you can't be sure, can you, Sid?

30
00:02:18,861 --> 00:02:22,479
Well, I can easily make it sure, mate.
From now on, she will never be alone at

31
00:02:22,480 --> 00:02:24,530
home. Her mother will stay in every
night.

32
00:02:24,531 --> 00:02:29,359
There you are, Mummy. Daddy will be
proud to take you out tonight.

33
00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:31,319
And Geoffrey and I can be alone
together.

34
00:02:31,320 --> 00:02:34,870
Then Geoffrey and I can be alone
together. That's all I've heard all day.

35
00:02:35,040 --> 00:02:37,900
Oh, I look like something escaped from
the zoo.

36
00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:40,100
Don't be silly, Mummy. It suits you.

37
00:02:40,540 --> 00:02:41,590
Where do I put my hat?

38
00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:43,910
You don't need one. That's instead of a
hat.

39
00:02:44,410 --> 00:02:45,890
Hi, Sal. Where's Mum?

40
00:02:46,430 --> 00:02:47,480
I'm here.

41
00:02:47,610 --> 00:02:49,050
What? You freaked?

42
00:02:49,690 --> 00:02:50,870
So much, huh?

43
00:02:51,370 --> 00:02:53,230
Oh, you really think that, Mike? Yeah.

44
00:02:55,770 --> 00:02:56,820
Who's the bird?

45
00:02:58,090 --> 00:02:59,140
It's me.

46
00:03:03,250 --> 00:03:05,070
What have you done to yourself?

47
00:03:05,510 --> 00:03:06,560
I freaked.

48
00:03:06,670 --> 00:03:09,070
Mummy wanted us to go out to dinner
tonight.

49
00:03:09,071 --> 00:03:11,409
Oh, yes? Who are you going out to dinner
with? You.

50
00:03:11,410 --> 00:03:12,460
Oh, now.

51
00:03:12,461 --> 00:03:14,079
I've come home from my dinner, haven't
I?

52
00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:17,099
There's this new little Italian
restaurant called Mario's.

53
00:03:17,100 --> 00:03:19,520
It sells good food and it doesn't cost
much.

54
00:03:19,521 --> 00:03:22,259
There's a little room in there called
the kitchen. They serve good food and it

55
00:03:22,260 --> 00:03:23,310
costs me nothing.

56
00:03:24,640 --> 00:03:28,699
If I had a wife, I'd take her out to
dinner. You had a wife, she'd have to

57
00:03:28,700 --> 00:03:29,750
you out to dinner.

58
00:03:29,751 --> 00:03:33,519
It doesn't matter who pays for who, Dad.
It's doing it together that counts.

59
00:03:33,520 --> 00:03:35,930
That's right, Daddy. People should be
together.

60
00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:37,760
Geoffrey and I want to be together.

61
00:03:37,761 --> 00:03:40,259
Together? What do you mean, together?

62
00:03:40,260 --> 00:03:41,580
Well, let's face it, Daddy.

63
00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:45,890
He's been going out three whole weeks
and we haven't had a single night alone.

64
00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:47,050
Alone?

65
00:03:47,051 --> 00:03:50,079
Yes, dear, alone. You can look it up in
the dictionary.

66
00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:53,339
I don't have to look it up in the
dictionary. I know what it means. Alone.

67
00:03:53,340 --> 00:03:55,400
65 % of the kids have been alone.

68
00:03:56,140 --> 00:03:57,220
Before I was 15.

69
00:03:57,800 --> 00:03:59,180
What are you talking about?

70
00:03:59,181 --> 00:04:03,679
He wants to be alone with you. Why
doesn't he take you out to dinner?

71
00:04:03,680 --> 00:04:04,730
He's not hungry.

72
00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:06,050
Not surprised.

73
00:04:06,051 --> 00:04:10,999
He ate his way right through our kitchen
last night. Thank God he didn't fancy

74
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:12,050
the budgie.

75
00:04:12,051 --> 00:04:17,028
Nice, isn't it? You won't take your wife
out to dinner and you begrudge your

76
00:04:17,029 --> 00:04:19,249
daughter's boyfriend a measly little
sandwich.

77
00:04:19,250 --> 00:04:22,920
I don't begrudge anybody anything. I've
had a hard day and I want me dinner.

78
00:04:22,921 --> 00:04:26,589
Listen, I don't want to break up the
argument, Mum, but what about the little

79
00:04:26,590 --> 00:04:27,830
arrangement we came to?

80
00:04:27,831 --> 00:04:29,809
What little arrangement?

81
00:04:29,810 --> 00:04:33,689
Well, Mum said that you'd buy me a new
pair of trousers, some beads and a

82
00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:34,740
shoulder bag.

83
00:04:34,741 --> 00:04:38,699
Well, that's very nice of me. What do I
get in return?

84
00:04:38,700 --> 00:04:41,899
You get your garden watered. No, thank
you, mate. You can walk about starkers,

85
00:04:41,900 --> 00:04:43,280
give the neighbours a treat.

86
00:04:43,580 --> 00:04:44,980
Now what's the matter?

87
00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:48,759
He's not touching my garden. You see
what he did to my pansies? Oh, he

88
00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:49,810
them out.

89
00:04:49,980 --> 00:04:52,720
You do not thin pansies out with a
lawnmower.

90
00:04:54,220 --> 00:04:55,270
I want me dinner.

91
00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:56,690
Daddy?

92
00:04:57,220 --> 00:04:59,630
Yes? Why won't you let us have an
evening alone?

93
00:04:59,631 --> 00:05:01,679
Because you're a girl and he's a boy.

94
00:05:01,680 --> 00:05:05,959
I do know that, Daddy. I might wear a
cool uniform, but I'm not a baby. I

95
00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:07,010
know...

96
00:05:07,150 --> 00:05:09,500
All you know about sex is what you read
in books.

97
00:05:09,730 --> 00:05:10,780
I hope.

98
00:05:10,910 --> 00:05:12,950
Sally wants to be alone with Geoffrey.

99
00:05:13,430 --> 00:05:17,030
And I can't see any harm in it. I spent
lots of evenings alone with you.

100
00:05:17,230 --> 00:05:19,400
And I didn't let you get away with
anything.

101
00:05:19,401 --> 00:05:20,649
You're dead right.

102
00:05:20,650 --> 00:05:22,450
You were 20 before I got you in a bed.

103
00:05:22,451 --> 00:05:27,169
We were married. Yes, well, I was going
to say that. I mean, we were married,

104
00:05:27,170 --> 00:05:30,010
yes. In any case, I'm not like that lot.
I was well behaved.

105
00:05:30,470 --> 00:05:32,250
I played with a yo -yo till I was 14.

106
00:05:35,720 --> 00:05:38,430
yourself laughing. A yo -yo is a fine,
wholesome thing.

107
00:05:38,620 --> 00:05:41,390
In any case, I never turfed my parents
out of their home.

108
00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:44,080
No, you turfed my parents out of their
home.

109
00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:50,319
A half -naked lunatic galloping down the
hall, screaming fire wouldn't shift

110
00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:51,370
your parents.

111
00:05:51,500 --> 00:05:53,280
You should know. You tried it.

112
00:05:55,620 --> 00:05:57,970
We used to spend our evenings in the
local park.

113
00:05:58,060 --> 00:05:59,580
Oh, what can you do in the park?

114
00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:02,660
Why, you can feed the fish, play with
the tadpoles.

115
00:06:03,100 --> 00:06:04,820
That's not what we used to do.

116
00:06:07,041 --> 00:06:09,049
Evening, Mr Abbott.

117
00:06:09,050 --> 00:06:11,289
We've just been having a little family
discussion.

118
00:06:11,290 --> 00:06:13,709
Mummy and Daddy won't go out to dinner
tonight because they don't want to leave

119
00:06:13,710 --> 00:06:16,949
us alone in the house. Well, there's
been a lot of burglaries around, you

120
00:06:16,950 --> 00:06:19,600
Anyway, Daddy thinks you ought to take
me to the park.

121
00:06:19,630 --> 00:06:22,280
Oh, thanks very much, Mr Abbott. Nice
and quiet there.

122
00:06:22,450 --> 00:06:23,500
And dark.

123
00:06:24,410 --> 00:06:25,460
Jean?

124
00:06:26,390 --> 00:06:29,400
Yes, dear? I've changed my mind. I'm
taking you out to dinner.

125
00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:43,230
Because she's got him in her room,
hasn't she?

126
00:06:43,280 --> 00:06:46,710
Oh, what? It's only 11 o 'clock.
Geoffrey never leaves till half past.

127
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:47,790
Well, I don't like it.

128
00:06:48,140 --> 00:06:49,560
Oh, Sid, it's ridiculous.

129
00:06:50,180 --> 00:06:54,459
You take me out to dinner. I have no
time to finish my soup. I have to eat my

130
00:06:54,460 --> 00:06:56,930
spaghetti standing up and have my gato
in the car.

131
00:06:58,580 --> 00:07:00,260
I wanted to get home, didn't I?

132
00:07:01,180 --> 00:07:04,850
The waiters must have thought I was in
training for a pie -eating contest.

133
00:07:04,851 --> 00:07:09,459
It's ridiculous. He practically lives in
this house. He's wearing the bloody

134
00:07:09,460 --> 00:07:10,510
place out.

135
00:07:10,700 --> 00:07:14,430
Well, they're fond of each other.
They're only doing what comes naturally.

136
00:07:14,740 --> 00:07:16,000
That's what I'm afraid of.

137
00:07:17,260 --> 00:07:18,800
He's only a schoolboy.

138
00:07:19,280 --> 00:07:20,840
I was a schoolboy once, you know.

139
00:07:21,340 --> 00:07:23,460
I had my first experience as a
schoolboy.

140
00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:25,460
Experience of what?

141
00:07:25,980 --> 00:07:27,030
Women.

142
00:07:27,460 --> 00:07:30,260
I owe a lot to Mary Parker and the three
-legged race.

143
00:07:32,080 --> 00:07:35,810
I'm telling you, by the time we got to
the winning post, we were old friends.

144
00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:39,620
Jeffrey is a nice, quiet boy.

145
00:07:39,621 --> 00:07:45,079
Did you see him when she mentioned the
park? He put on ten years.

146
00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:46,130
Instant manhood.

147
00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:50,110
I'm going to sleep. I'm going to see
what's going on there.

148
00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:14,410
Have you seen that?

149
00:08:14,411 --> 00:08:18,139
Yes, I've seen it. Well, people who hang
out outside their doors are up to no

150
00:08:18,140 --> 00:08:19,190
good.

151
00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:22,330
So how come you and Trevor brought it
home from a fishing trip?

152
00:08:23,740 --> 00:08:25,220
Me? Yes, you.

153
00:08:25,221 --> 00:08:28,759
Well, the chambermaid kept charging in
and out of the room, didn't she? So what

154
00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:29,960
did you two have to hide?

155
00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:31,700
Another chambermaid? No.

156
00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:35,740
A basin full of maggots and a bath full
of fish, that's what.

157
00:08:36,360 --> 00:08:38,880
Right. I accept your explanation.

158
00:08:38,881 --> 00:08:42,239
You accept... All right, I'll accept it,
but I think they're spending too much

159
00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:43,859
time in there. They could get involved.

160
00:08:43,860 --> 00:08:47,779
The only thing they're involved in is
their O -levels. Well, let's hope

161
00:08:47,780 --> 00:08:50,070
not studying up on their biology, that's
all.

162
00:08:50,740 --> 00:08:54,240
Not that one again, Sid. At least I know
my daughter.

163
00:08:54,900 --> 00:08:59,239
Firstly, she wouldn't be so silly, and
secondly, she's far too intelligent to

164
00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:01,040
get involved with anybody right now.

165
00:09:01,620 --> 00:09:02,670
Mummy? Yes?

166
00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:03,930
We're engaged.

167
00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:08,050
What did I tell you?

168
00:09:37,321 --> 00:09:43,489
Engaged. It's ridiculous. I've never
heard anything like it in my life.

169
00:09:43,490 --> 00:09:45,840
Well, what's so ridiculous about it? We
did it.

170
00:09:46,270 --> 00:09:47,930
I had a job and a future.

171
00:09:48,370 --> 00:09:51,200
All he's got is his pushbike and his
school dinner money.

172
00:09:52,050 --> 00:09:55,060
Why don't you leave them to find things
out for themselves?

173
00:09:55,070 --> 00:09:56,230
Oh, yes, I'll do that.

174
00:09:56,490 --> 00:09:59,949
I'll just sit back and let it all
happen. Till one day, Sally walks in

175
00:09:59,950 --> 00:10:03,500
a 42 -inch waist and says, Oh, Daddy,
guess what? I found out for myself.

176
00:10:04,930 --> 00:10:06,090
Sally's not like that.

177
00:10:06,450 --> 00:10:08,680
I'm going to see to it she stays not
like that.

178
00:10:08,681 --> 00:10:11,219
I wouldn't care if he had a bit of
experience.

179
00:10:11,220 --> 00:10:13,839
I mean, at his age, he should be doing a
bit of window shopping.

180
00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:16,070
Here a bit, there a bit. Everywhere a
bit, bit.

181
00:10:17,560 --> 00:10:21,439
Is that the sort of boy you want Sally
to get engaged to? I don't want Sally to

182
00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:22,490
get engaged at all.

183
00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:26,610
Engagements lead to marriage. And
marriages lead to divorce.

184
00:10:27,060 --> 00:10:29,540
Ours didn't. Why, you had me, that's
why.

185
00:10:29,541 --> 00:10:34,459
I mean, suppose that one day she wakes
up and finds she can't stand the sight

186
00:10:34,460 --> 00:10:35,510
him. Suppose.

187
00:10:35,820 --> 00:10:39,010
Suppose I... I wake up one day and find
I can't stand the sight of you.

188
00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:41,690
Well, that's not likely to happen, is
it? Why not?

189
00:10:41,691 --> 00:10:44,359
Well, because I'm an exceptionally nice
fellow, that's why.

190
00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:45,520
So is Geoffrey.

191
00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:47,900
He's got short, fat hands.

192
00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:50,440
What's that got to do with it?

193
00:10:50,740 --> 00:10:52,340
I don't like short, fat hands.

194
00:10:52,980 --> 00:10:55,270
Well, you're not going to marry him, are
you?

195
00:10:55,740 --> 00:10:56,790
Honestly said.

196
00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:03,560
Has anybody told him yet?

197
00:11:03,561 --> 00:11:06,789
He's been sitting there while we were
talking.

198
00:11:06,790 --> 00:11:08,650
Doesn't usually make any difference.

199
00:11:10,950 --> 00:11:12,000
Booey.

200
00:11:13,650 --> 00:11:15,750
There's a crisis in this house. Great.

201
00:11:19,410 --> 00:11:20,460
Sally's engaged.

202
00:11:21,190 --> 00:11:22,240
Great.

203
00:11:24,190 --> 00:11:26,870
He's a headhunting cannibal from Goomba
Goomba.

204
00:11:27,890 --> 00:11:33,130
Great. His brain must look like the mint
with the owl.

205
00:11:36,140 --> 00:11:37,520
A bit vague, Sid. A bit vague?

206
00:11:37,740 --> 00:11:40,630
We're in the middle of winter. He still
thinks it's August.

207
00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:43,840
You're always moaning. Most fathers are
proud of their kid.

208
00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:46,040
I am proud. Very proud indeed.

209
00:11:46,900 --> 00:11:51,379
I mean, here's our daughter. Her fiancé
is still on free school milk. What more

210
00:11:51,380 --> 00:11:52,430
can a father ask?

211
00:11:53,760 --> 00:11:54,810
Good morning.

212
00:11:54,900 --> 00:11:55,950
Morning.

213
00:11:56,100 --> 00:11:57,420
I'm getting my ring today.

214
00:11:57,740 --> 00:11:59,640
Oh, darling, how lovely.

215
00:12:00,380 --> 00:12:02,220
Sit down, please. Sit down.

216
00:12:03,500 --> 00:12:04,550
Sally.

217
00:12:05,869 --> 00:12:10,510
Don't you think it's a bit soon? I mean,
you're 17, he's 16 and a half.

218
00:12:10,511 --> 00:12:13,349
Oh, Geoffrey and I have talked about
that, Daddy. You have?

219
00:12:13,350 --> 00:12:15,090
He says he prefers older women.

220
00:12:17,390 --> 00:12:19,730
Well, men often marry older women, Sid.

221
00:12:20,010 --> 00:12:21,750
Who said anything about marriage?

222
00:12:21,850 --> 00:12:23,350
But you're engaged, darling.

223
00:12:23,650 --> 00:12:25,880
Oh, yes, but we're not engaged to be
married.

224
00:12:26,170 --> 00:12:27,890
Oh, well, that's all right, then.

225
00:12:43,340 --> 00:12:45,320
Any coffee left, Dad? Did you hear that?

226
00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:48,660
Your sister is engaged to live together.

227
00:12:49,300 --> 00:12:52,550
And if you say great, I'll wrap your
beads right around your neck.

228
00:12:53,480 --> 00:12:56,370
I'm sorry, Dad. I just think the whole
scene's very uncool.

229
00:12:56,580 --> 00:12:58,220
Uncool? Yeah, just don't dig it.

230
00:12:58,740 --> 00:13:00,020
You don't? No.

231
00:13:02,540 --> 00:13:03,590
You see that?

232
00:13:04,660 --> 00:13:06,540
That's my son, that is. That's my boy.

233
00:13:06,541 --> 00:13:10,699
I will admit that we don't often see eye
to eye, but every now and then he comes

234
00:13:10,700 --> 00:13:12,200
out with an intelligent grunt.

235
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:17,540
The whole scene is uncool, he said. He
doesn't dig it. But, Mike.

236
00:13:17,820 --> 00:13:20,650
I'm sorry, Sal. I think his engagement
bit is a drag. Yeah?

237
00:13:21,260 --> 00:13:23,900
He's right again. It's a drag. That's
what it is. A drag.

238
00:13:23,901 --> 00:13:27,059
Yeah, you should throw the whole thing
up. That's it. Just live together, man.

239
00:13:27,060 --> 00:13:28,110
I'll kill you.

240
00:13:28,620 --> 00:13:31,140
I'm not scared of that kind of chat. Sit
down.

241
00:13:32,380 --> 00:13:35,820
We are all very happy for you, my
darling. Thank you, Mummy.

242
00:13:36,220 --> 00:13:39,739
What's so happy about it? I give him my
opinion and he nearly has me for

243
00:13:39,740 --> 00:13:42,960
breakfast. Don't speak like that about
your father, Mike.

244
00:13:42,961 --> 00:13:46,889
What Mike means is, Daddy, when you're
married, you take each other for

245
00:13:46,890 --> 00:13:50,560
When you're not, you're too afraid of
losing each other. Oh, no, we're not.

246
00:13:52,461 --> 00:13:57,629
What's he doing here? It's not nine o
'clock yet. Shh.

247
00:13:57,630 --> 00:13:59,800
It's ridiculous. He's here before the
milk.

248
00:14:00,710 --> 00:14:04,320
Come in, Geoffrey. We're just having
another little family discussion.

249
00:14:04,321 --> 00:14:06,869
Mr. Abbott, there's something I'd like
to talk to you about. Sally, why don't

250
00:14:06,870 --> 00:14:08,669
you take Geoffrey somewhere quiet?

251
00:14:08,670 --> 00:14:10,840
All right, Mummy. I'll take him up to my
room.

252
00:14:11,250 --> 00:14:12,550
Hang on. Just a minute.

253
00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:16,780
I, uh... I, uh... I might do a bit of
decorating up there.

254
00:14:16,781 --> 00:14:18,619
You've never mentioned that before.

255
00:14:18,620 --> 00:14:19,940
I didn't think of it before.

256
00:14:19,941 --> 00:14:22,279
Well, we'll stay down here, then.

257
00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:25,599
Yeah, well, in between the decorating, I
might come down here and read me paper.

258
00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:28,639
It's all right, pal. You can have my
room. Yes, and after I've read me paper

259
00:14:28,640 --> 00:14:31,059
I might start the decorating again, I'll
probably go up in his room and have a

260
00:14:31,060 --> 00:14:31,999
lie down.

261
00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:34,160
Sally, take Geoffrey to our room.

262
00:14:34,161 --> 00:14:37,359
Thanks, Mummy. At least I've got one
understanding parent.

263
00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:40,740
Come on, Geoffrey. Um, by the way, Mrs
Abbott, I bought this for you.

264
00:14:42,090 --> 00:14:43,510
Oh, Geoffrey, thank you.

265
00:14:43,910 --> 00:14:45,350
And this is for you, Mr Abbott.

266
00:14:45,690 --> 00:14:47,110
Oh, there's a cigar.

267
00:14:47,510 --> 00:14:48,690
I know what it is.

268
00:14:50,690 --> 00:14:51,770
Thank you. Very nice.

269
00:14:52,050 --> 00:14:53,100
Thanks, Mummy.

270
00:14:55,030 --> 00:14:57,140
Now what have you got to say for
yourself?

271
00:14:57,150 --> 00:14:58,770
Well, I don't smoke cigars, do I?

272
00:14:59,050 --> 00:15:01,220
That's not the point. I don't eat
chocolate.

273
00:15:01,410 --> 00:15:02,460
Do you want a swap?

274
00:15:02,621 --> 00:15:04,469
Thanks, Mum.

275
00:15:04,470 --> 00:15:06,290
Thanks, Dad. You name it, I do it.

276
00:15:07,590 --> 00:15:08,730
I can't win, can I?

277
00:15:09,770 --> 00:15:12,240
I'd always be wrong. They do talk sense
sometimes.

278
00:15:12,610 --> 00:15:15,080
Oh, you joined the youth movement now,
have you?

279
00:15:15,190 --> 00:15:16,510
I'll tell you what we'll do.

280
00:15:16,650 --> 00:15:18,510
We'll get divorced and live together.

281
00:15:18,511 --> 00:15:21,489
Sally can move in here with Geoffrey,
and we'll get a bit of crumping in for

282
00:15:21,490 --> 00:15:22,540
budgie.

283
00:15:23,650 --> 00:15:26,550
I know it's difficult, but we've got to
try to understand.

284
00:15:26,790 --> 00:15:27,840
Understand, yes.

285
00:15:27,910 --> 00:15:31,820
After all, the only important thing is
our daughter's happiness. Happiness,

286
00:15:31,990 --> 00:15:33,430
And after all, I'm her mother.

287
00:15:33,650 --> 00:15:37,050
If I can be happy for her, so can you.
All right. All right.

288
00:15:38,859 --> 00:15:39,909
Now, I'm happy.

289
00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:50,780
Oh, darling, don't cry. Look, I'll tell
you what I'll do.

290
00:15:50,781 --> 00:15:54,999
I'll send Sally in, and you can tell her
how happy we are for her, and then I'll

291
00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:57,979
go up and see the boy, and I'll tell him
how happy we are, all right?

292
00:15:57,980 --> 00:15:59,030
Yes, dear.

293
00:16:07,790 --> 00:16:08,840
Do you like it?

294
00:16:08,890 --> 00:16:10,390
Oh, Geoffrey, it's beautiful.

295
00:16:11,050 --> 00:16:12,100
Oh, excuse me.

296
00:16:12,450 --> 00:16:14,210
Daddy, we're just getting engaged.

297
00:16:14,211 --> 00:16:16,509
Well, I was just coming up to make a bed
for your mother.

298
00:16:16,510 --> 00:16:17,529
It's me, Daddy.

299
00:16:17,530 --> 00:16:20,609
Yeah, well, I thought I'd have a short
clip and then make it again. Oh, come

300
00:16:20,610 --> 00:16:22,869
Geoffrey. We'll go somewhere else. Oh,
hang on. I just want to have a word with

301
00:16:22,870 --> 00:16:26,189
Geoffrey. But, Daddy, he's just giving
me my ring. It's all right. I just want

302
00:16:26,190 --> 00:16:28,180
to give him a welcome to the family
chat.

303
00:16:28,370 --> 00:16:29,630
Oh, all right then, Daddy.

304
00:16:29,710 --> 00:16:31,090
See you later, Geoffrey. Bye.

305
00:16:32,110 --> 00:16:35,660
Like a cigarette, Mr. Abbott? No,
thanks, son. I'll stick to the pipe. Sit

306
00:16:36,579 --> 00:16:43,199
Now, Geoffrey, you and Sally have taken
it upon yourselves to enter a life of

307
00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:45,360
holy, holy sin together.

308
00:16:45,361 --> 00:16:48,619
And that's really what I want to talk
about.

309
00:16:48,620 --> 00:16:51,439
Well, go on, Mr. Abbott. Talk about it,
then. Well, you haven't had a great deal

310
00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:54,459
of experience with women, have you?
Well, I did go out with Brandy Thandie

311
00:16:54,460 --> 00:16:55,510
six months.

312
00:16:56,960 --> 00:16:58,010
Yeah.

313
00:16:59,040 --> 00:17:01,450
Well, that just about covers that,
doesn't it?

314
00:17:01,451 --> 00:17:04,489
The other thing I wanted to talk to you
about was money.

315
00:17:04,490 --> 00:17:07,789
Oh, I'm not worried about that, Mr.
Abbott. Sally and I don't want money.

316
00:17:07,790 --> 00:17:10,140
Look, it's not a case of want. It's a
case of need.

317
00:17:10,150 --> 00:17:13,040
I can give Sally everything she needs,
Mr. Abbott. You can?

318
00:17:13,041 --> 00:17:16,449
Yeah. Oh, well, tell me, what are you
going to give her instead of wages?

319
00:17:16,450 --> 00:17:19,760
Well, I'll give her love, understanding,
and I'll look after her.

320
00:17:20,150 --> 00:17:22,290
You haven't mentioned feeding her.

321
00:17:22,291 --> 00:17:26,409
If you don't feed her, there's not going
to be much left of her to give any love

322
00:17:26,410 --> 00:17:27,460
and understanding.

323
00:17:27,770 --> 00:17:29,940
Mr. Abbott, we're living in a welfare
state.

324
00:17:30,170 --> 00:17:31,270
Nobody starves.

325
00:17:31,530 --> 00:17:35,689
Oh, that's very nice, that is. My little
Sally's starting her married... living

326
00:17:35,690 --> 00:17:37,370
together life on social security.

327
00:17:37,371 --> 00:17:39,669
You see, she's accustomed to being kept
by me.

328
00:17:39,670 --> 00:17:41,130
You pay taxes, don't you?

329
00:17:41,131 --> 00:17:44,969
What's that got to do with it? Well, by
contributing to social security, she'll

330
00:17:44,970 --> 00:17:46,020
still be kept by you.

331
00:17:48,190 --> 00:17:49,470
Hang on a minute.

332
00:17:51,590 --> 00:17:53,430
Call it, I'm coming.

333
00:17:56,270 --> 00:17:58,350
Do you mind?

334
00:17:59,670 --> 00:18:00,720
Oi. What?

335
00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:02,280
Don't get into any trouble.

336
00:18:02,281 --> 00:18:05,719
Trouble? How can I get into trouble? I'm
helping Pam and John move into their

337
00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:06,619
new pad.

338
00:18:06,620 --> 00:18:08,920
Oh. I didn't know they were married.

339
00:18:09,540 --> 00:18:12,610
They're not married, Dad. They're just
shacking up together.

340
00:18:12,611 --> 00:18:17,899
Look, John, don't... They're moving into
their place tonight, Mr Abbott. Doesn't

341
00:18:17,900 --> 00:18:18,950
that sound great?

342
00:18:19,180 --> 00:18:21,590
Their place, Geoffrey, is Paddington
Station.

343
00:18:22,160 --> 00:18:24,020
They've been chucked out of Waterloo.

344
00:18:24,021 --> 00:18:28,279
You wouldn't want that kind of life for
my Sally, would you? No, Mr. Albert. You

345
00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:31,899
wouldn't be happy making my little Sally
unhappy, would you? No. Well, there you

346
00:18:31,900 --> 00:18:34,979
are. You're too young to get married,
and there's business of living to get.

347
00:18:34,980 --> 00:18:37,160
God. What do you want?

348
00:18:37,700 --> 00:18:41,200
Oh, Jean said you was up here. I'm just
having a private chat to the boy.

349
00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:43,560
Oh? What about marriage and things?

350
00:18:43,561 --> 00:18:46,999
Yeah? Well, I'm all for the things. It's
the marriage bit I don't go for. Oh,

351
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:47,779
come here.

352
00:18:47,780 --> 00:18:48,639
Shut up.

353
00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:51,300
I told you not to go out. The dog's got
the joint again.

354
00:18:51,620 --> 00:18:54,090
So what do you want me to do about it?
Get it off him.

355
00:18:54,091 --> 00:18:58,969
the attitude again, isn't he? Do you
thought you should train him? Every week

356
00:18:58,970 --> 00:19:01,529
happens. You know what you're getting
for your dinner, don't you? Cheese on

357
00:19:01,530 --> 00:19:02,249
toast again.

358
00:19:02,250 --> 00:19:06,509
Alessi, I'm sick to death of trying
to... And get those wellies off before

359
00:19:06,510 --> 00:19:07,560
come in our house.

360
00:19:10,410 --> 00:19:12,030
Sorry, Sid. What were you saying?

361
00:19:12,050 --> 00:19:13,330
Trevor! Oh, Kelly!

362
00:19:14,910 --> 00:19:15,960
Listen to me, sir.

363
00:19:16,270 --> 00:19:17,320
Goodbye.

364
00:19:17,321 --> 00:19:20,929
Get yourself a nice little flat. Give it
a key. Give it a chat. And when you're

365
00:19:20,930 --> 00:19:22,250
cheesed off, give it a boot.

366
00:19:23,820 --> 00:19:25,500
Still a bloody boot in a monotopic.

367
00:19:26,740 --> 00:19:29,930
Excuse me, Geoffrey. I don't normally
use that kind of language.

368
00:19:33,340 --> 00:19:35,080
He's gone. He went with the other lot.

369
00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:37,730
Come on.

370
00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:40,650
Let's go somewhere where they won't
disturb us. Come on.

371
00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:51,999
I don't want you to think I'm trying to
influence you in any way, but she is my

372
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:54,590
daughter. Mr Abbott, we're not rushing
into this.

373
00:19:54,810 --> 00:19:57,670
I mean, Sally and I have known each
other for three weeks.

374
00:19:58,270 --> 00:19:59,670
Three wonderful weeks.

375
00:20:00,470 --> 00:20:02,850
Geoffrey. Three glorious weeks.

376
00:20:03,790 --> 00:20:07,550
Geoff... Why don't you go home and do
your algebra?

377
00:20:08,050 --> 00:20:09,100
Yes, Mr Abbott.

378
00:20:12,650 --> 00:20:17,250
You don't have to listen to what I say,
Sally. I wouldn't try to influence you.

379
00:20:17,251 --> 00:20:19,329
Remember what I said in the beginning?

380
00:20:19,330 --> 00:20:21,440
You said you were very happy for me,
Mummy.

381
00:20:21,820 --> 00:20:24,020
Yes, and Daddy's very happy for
Geoffrey.

382
00:20:24,540 --> 00:20:25,740
After all, why not?

383
00:20:26,360 --> 00:20:28,880
You've probably got years of misery
ahead of you.

384
00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:38,330
Oh, no.

385
00:20:40,040 --> 00:20:41,480
Did you talk to him, then?

386
00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:42,810
Yes.

387
00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:44,040
Did you talk to Sally?

388
00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:45,650
Yes.

389
00:20:46,100 --> 00:20:48,810
Did you welcome him into the family, as
you promised?

390
00:20:49,380 --> 00:20:50,430
Yes.

391
00:20:50,431 --> 00:20:55,479
Did you tell Sally how delirious we are
about her forthcoming trial marriage?

392
00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:56,530
Yes.

393
00:20:56,531 --> 00:21:00,459
I told her all the usual clever things
the mother usually tells her daughter at

394
00:21:00,460 --> 00:21:01,510
a time like this.

395
00:21:02,800 --> 00:21:03,850
What did you say?

396
00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:05,290
The same.

397
00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:10,320
Mummy, Daddy, Geoffrey and I have had a
little talk.

398
00:21:10,580 --> 00:21:11,630
You have? Yes.

399
00:21:11,820 --> 00:21:16,220
I said to Geoffrey that after all I am
only 17 and he is only 16 and a half.

400
00:21:16,221 --> 00:21:19,599
And I said to Sally that living in
Paddington Station is not really the

401
00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:20,650
life she's used to.

402
00:21:20,990 --> 00:21:25,489
Oh, isn't that thoughtful thing? Oh,
very thoughtful, yes. And I told

403
00:21:25,490 --> 00:21:28,569
that if we didn't do the right thing
now, we could have years of misery ahead

404
00:21:28,570 --> 00:21:32,189
us. Well, yes, I think they've sorted
out their problems very well. And

405
00:21:32,190 --> 00:21:33,240
our help, too.

406
00:21:33,990 --> 00:21:36,470
We think you've both been very sensible.

407
00:21:36,471 --> 00:21:40,029
And having talked about the advantages
and the disadvantages... Yeah, the

408
00:21:40,030 --> 00:21:41,080
disadvantages, yes.

409
00:21:41,250 --> 00:21:43,360
We realise that getting engaged is
silly.

410
00:21:43,361 --> 00:21:44,649
Very silly.

411
00:21:44,650 --> 00:21:47,579
And living together is a gamble. Oh,
it's a shocking gamble.

412
00:21:47,580 --> 00:21:50,879
There's only one sure way of us staying
together. And what's that?

413
00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:52,680
Start having babies right away.

414
00:21:57,351 --> 00:21:58,879
Cheer

415
00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:05,999
up,

416
00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:07,050
Sid.

417
00:22:07,051 --> 00:22:08,219
Cheer up?

418
00:22:08,220 --> 00:22:10,020
We're going to have babies, she said.

419
00:22:10,420 --> 00:22:13,190
We've got to be more strict with her.
We've got to be firm.

420
00:22:14,180 --> 00:22:15,230
You're dead right.

421
00:22:15,610 --> 00:22:17,490
I'm going to put my foot right down.

422
00:22:17,930 --> 00:22:19,250
Hello, Mummy. Hello, Daddy.

423
00:22:19,450 --> 00:22:20,500
Sally.

424
00:22:20,501 --> 00:22:21,989
Sit down.

425
00:22:21,990 --> 00:22:23,040
Right there.

426
00:22:23,950 --> 00:22:25,000
Now then.

427
00:22:25,001 --> 00:22:29,569
Your mother and I have tried to see in
every possible way your point of view.

428
00:22:29,570 --> 00:22:30,989
We've tried to be understanding.

429
00:22:30,990 --> 00:22:32,709
Right, now you've just got to listen to
us for a change.

430
00:22:32,710 --> 00:22:36,869
Your mother and I absolutely forbid you
and Geoffrey to make babies or make

431
00:22:36,870 --> 00:22:37,749
anything at all.

432
00:22:37,750 --> 00:22:38,569
Yes, Daddy.

433
00:22:38,570 --> 00:22:40,250
I don't want any argument. Pardon?

434
00:22:40,450 --> 00:22:41,890
I've finished with Geoffrey.

435
00:22:41,891 --> 00:22:43,289
You've what?

436
00:22:43,290 --> 00:22:44,390
He's too young for me.

437
00:22:44,700 --> 00:22:46,020
I need someone more mature.

438
00:22:46,380 --> 00:22:50,979
You're being very wise, dear. When I met
Charlie last night, I knew he was more

439
00:22:50,980 --> 00:22:52,030
mature.

440
00:22:52,031 --> 00:22:55,699
Charlie, wait a minute. Don't worry,
Daddy. He's dead against the permissive

441
00:22:55,700 --> 00:22:57,500
society and he believes in marriage.

442
00:22:58,020 --> 00:22:59,070
Does he?

443
00:22:59,580 --> 00:23:01,700
Oh, well, that's different.

444
00:23:01,920 --> 00:23:03,500
How old is he? Forty -eight.

445
00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:08,250
Forty -eight?

446
00:23:08,251 --> 00:23:09,439
What's his name?

447
00:23:09,440 --> 00:23:10,490
Charlie Merrifield.

448
00:23:11,020 --> 00:23:13,310
Charlie Merrifield? You're like him,
Daddy.

449
00:23:13,311 --> 00:23:14,329
Like him?

450
00:23:14,330 --> 00:23:15,919
I went to bloody school with him!

451
00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:20,470
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